The Wedding Night Dilemma

Marilyn knew she wanted a divorce the same day she got married. The church wedding was beautiful, as was the reception at the country club. The courtship had been exciting and romantic, yet she knew in her gut that something was wrong. This did not subdue her excitement about becoming Mrs. Roger Tillman, Jr.

During a brief break up between she and Roger because she wouldn’t have sex with him, she had a one night fling with a guy at the singles club where she and her girlfriends hung out. Other than that one incident and the feeling in her gut, there was nothing to prepare her for what happened on her wedding night.

The one night encounter had meant very little to her, mainly because it was to get back at Roger, and it being her first time, she experienced some pain. Roger had returned back to her life shortly after the one night stand, and convinced her that marriage was their only solution.

A quick wedding was planned and the invitations were sent out.

Roger took care of all the honeymoon details. They would fly to Los Angles, with a one night layover and leave the next day for Hawaii. This one night layover, proved to be Marilyn’s savior.

Roger was his usual sweet self at the wedding and reception. Even at the airport he was attentive and warm. It was much later that evening after the long flight across country that Marilyn saw a side of her new husband which she never knew existed.

The wedding night started off like most newly weds. Both were tired from the long day, both were anxious to experience each other. Roger went to the bathroom to change into something comfortable, first. When he came out of the dressing room area, he was wearing a leather jump suit with holes in it. He had a whip, hand cuffs, and chains hanging down from his waist area.

He then begin trying to explain to Marilyn, that this was what married couples do!

Marilyn was ready to call her Momma.

She remained quite long enough to realize that Roger thought her to be a virgin and he had ever intension of sexually enslaving his new wife. When Marilyn tried to object, without letting him know, that she wasn’t exactly a virgin, Roger became angry.

Marilyn than decided to go alone with the program and escape from the room as soon as she could.

After going into the restroom and putting her street clothes back on, she put her robe on top, and brushed her hair. She had been given cash at the wedding reception, and stuffed the cash into her bra, as she thought about how to get out of the room.

Slowly Marilyn opened the door, to see the man she had married in a leather get-up with chains hanging from his waist. Walking to him, slowly, Marilyn looking him straight in the eyes, and asked him to get some ice, so she could have a drink to help her perform better.

Roger’s eyes got big and he said, “Baby, I don’t have my cloths on, why don’t you get the ice, and I’ll get the drinks out of the mini-bar.”

As Marilyn walked slowly to the door, she turned and said, “I’ll be right back.” Once out of the room, she ran to the elevator and headed to the lobby. Once in the lobby, she ask the bellman to get her a cab. By the time the cab pulled up, she could hear Roger calling her name, as the cab pulled away from the curb.

“Airport.”

“Yes, madam.” replied the cab driver as he speed up, as if he was in a car chase.

Once at the airport Marilyn contacted her mother, who immediately called the airlines and paid for the plane ticket back home. She told Marilyn to stay in the VIP Lounge in case Roger followed her to the airport.

Marilyn did as her mother instructed. And as she sat at the bar, trying to act like a grown up, instead of a frighten child of 22 years, questions begin to formulate within her mind. Why hadn’t she known this about Roger? Why hadn’t she insisted on sleeping with him before marring him? She silently became angry at the church. She had followed the teachings of her church as far as Roger was concerned, yet she felt betrayed. Roger’s family were members of the same church.

Marilyn’s plane trip back to the East coast was a long trip home. She cried softly in her seat as she tried to convince the airline attendant, that she was ok.

Marilyn’s mother picked her up at the airport and convinced her not to explain “all” the details of the previous night to her father. Marilyn’s mother said over and over again, that there were several reasons for this decision. First, she didn’t want to explain to the church members what had actually happened. And secondly, neither Marilyn nor her mother wanted to see Marilyn’s father in prison for assault. Marilyn knew if her father knew the truth, he would seriously hurt Roger. She also realized this would cause a family feud between the two families and possibly within the church.

But regardless of what Marilyn told her father, her heart knew the truth, and she openly wondered, if she would ever have the courage to love again.

The Misconception on Virginity

“David, David! We are waiting for you and your wife in the sitting room. Don’t forget to come with the proof,” George, David’s father, said loudly outside his son’s bedroom.

Assembled in the sitting room were elders of the clan, uncles, aunts and David’s mother. The day before they had witnessed the colourful wedding of their son to Susan, a tall beautiful lady. This is the same one they were all gathered to ‘crown’ as their ‘new’ daughter. But first, “Had she passed the acid test?”

The people gathered in the sitting room were growing impatient. David’s mother broke the silence by mumbling something about David and his wife taking too long, and shuffled her feet towards her son’s bedroom to remind them of their critical obligation to the ‘clan’!
David, in response, asked to be given 2 minutes for they were still preparing themselves. “Mum, you know it has been a long night. We’ve hardly slept a wink.” Even in the heat of the moment, his mother understood, or so she thought, that that was a joke and laughed heartily, in spite of herself.

“Two minutes! We don’t have the whole day here. Your uncles and aunts have to travel back to their homes today. You know what I mean.”

Inside the room, David and his wife were confused. They didn’t know what to do. The white sheets they had been given the day before had no ‘foreign’ colour on them. There were no stains of blood on them. That alone proved to David that Susan had not been a virgin when he married her. David did not know what to think. His heart was in turmoil. Anger, confusion and a feeling that he had been lied to were the ingredients of the turmoil.

“David, sure as I told you earlier, I have never had sex with any other man apart from you. You’ve got to believe me,” Susan implored.

David shouted out, despite himself, “You lied to me you were a virgin! How many other guys have you ever slept with? Tell me, eh.” He said this as he menacingly edged towards her. Then came the strident bang on the door.

“David, we are running out of patience,” George said, rather angrily.

Without thinking, and amid the gentle sobs of his wife, David took the sheets and stormed out of the room. When the people gathered in the sitting room saw him, they sat upright and expectantly waited for good news. But one look at his face, they sensed trouble. His father nudged the clan elder who was in attendance to take it from there.

“David, go and bring your wife with you,” he said.

When both David and his wife were in front of them, the elder of the clan took the sheets and spread them on the sitting room floor. All three sheets were as white as they had been the day before. David’s parents were as wide-eyed as the other people present in the room. They had expected to see blood on the sheets to prove that Susan had been a virgin on her wedding day.

After a lengthy deliberation, it was agreed that Susan was not worthy to be their son’s wife thus she had to go.

“Susan, we are a respected family and will not agree to be party to the dishonour that your acceptance into this family would have brought us. So pack your bags and leave our house and our son,” David’s father pronounced the harsh judgement.

Susan had to leave, after all. One tumultuous day was the number of days their marriage had lasted.
…………………………..

Such crude actions are driven by ignorance of the bare facts about what is ( and what is not) virginity. Virginity, in this context, is the state of having no sexual experience. Again, people wrongfully think that they can prove a lady’s virginity simply by ‘the production of blood during sexual intercourse’.

Even some of those who do not ‘produce’ blood during their ‘first’ sexual experiences are virgins. Here’s why I say so:-)

A hymen is the fold of skin partly closing the entrance to the sex organs of a virgin.
Thin Hymen: Most girls have a thin hymen with a hole of about 2 cm diameter. A man’s hard penis is 3 or 4 cm diameter, and so the hymen will stretch or break during first-sex. This may cause a little bleeding and pain.

No Hymen: Some girls are born without a hymen. So they have no bleeding during first sex.

Broken Hymen: Sometimes, a girl’s hymen breaks before marriage, and so she has no bleeding on her wedding night. There are two ways that a girl’s hymen can break:

a) Having sex

b) During sports such as horse riding or through the usage of menstrual tampons

So, really, there is no need to raise a fuss (i.e. , of course, if you don’t have the facts!) if your newly wedded wife does not bleed on your first wedding night. She may have broken her hymen during sports or may not have been born with one in place.

Yacht Charter Weddings and Honeymoons Virgin Islands-Style

A wedding celebration should be magical. Imagine combining it with the unforgettable experience of an island yacht charter. There is probably nothing more romantic than a couple starting their lives together with a Virgin Islands-style wedding and/or honeymoon!

Imagine repeating vows while standing barefoot on a white sandy beach with turquoise blue water as your backdrop. Or, perhaps you might prefer a lush mountain top with panoramic views and gentle trade winds. Maybe more adventure is your style. How about standing on the bow of a magnificent sailing vessel or chartering a luxurious yacht decked out in tropical flowers as you exchange your vows? You can get married at sunrise, sunset, or under a balmy tropical night, sky-filled with more stars than you have ever seen. An underwater ceremony can even be incorporated into a colorful coral reef dive. Caribbean weddings are big business.

Wedding planners and yacht/sailing charterers are happy to make any arrangements. The happy couple needs to remember, however, that they cannot just show up on their favorite island and expect to be married.

Each island has its own requirements, but the local tourism office will provide the necessary details. For U.S. citizens, a British or U.S. Virgin Island wedding is the easiest to arrange.In the BVI, couples apply for a marriage license at the attorney general’s office in the Administration Building in Road Town, Tortola. You must have your passport with you so the entry date can be established since the ceremony cannot be performed until you have been in the Territory for a minimum of 3 days. An original or certified copy of a divorce decree or death certificate must be presented if either couple was previously married. Both the application and actual ceremony requires two witnesses. A couple can be married at the Registrar’s Office above the Main Street Post Office for $35.00. If the ceremony is elsewhere (on the beach or on a sail/yacht charter, the fee is $100.00.

Picking out the ceremony location is probably the hardest thing about having a BVI wedding. Tortola is the main island in the BVI, with many beautiful beaches to have a wedding, including: Cane Garden Bay, Lambert Beach, Long Bay Beach, Josiah’s Bay and the Beach at Nanny Cay.

Just to the north of Tortola is the island of Jost Van Dyke. White Bay, with its crystal blue water and white sandy beach is a perfect location to drop anchor from your sail or yacht charter, swim to the beach and exchange vows. The wonder and beauty of the Baths on Virgin Gorda’s southeast shore will be most memorable. For more information contact Gail Hartman at ViSailing.

In the USVI, the Territorial Court in St. Thomas must receive the marriage application form and any certified divorce decrees or death certificates of previous spouses at least 8 days prior to the ceremony. No physical exam or blood test is required, but you will need to present yourselves with picture identification to the Clerk of the Court prior to the big day to obtain your license. Again, a local wedding planner can help you with the details. There are many choices for selecting the perfect wedding location in the USVI. On St. Thomas, the romance of a tropical beach wedding can be yours at lovely Magen’s Bay – selected by National Geographic magazine as one of the 10 most beautiful beaches in the world.

The Sapphire Beach villas have panoramic views of St. John and Jost Van Dyke. Just picture a terrace-side celebration around the infinity pool with that backdrop as you exchange vows. On St. John, two thirds of the island is National Park. The natural beauty of the Island Mountains combined with the exquisite white sandy beaches, creates a perfect place for a paradise wedding.

Check out Caneel Bay and Leinster Bay. For an island experience with more Dutch character, do not miss St. Croix with its white sands of Pineapple Beach or the secluded alcove of Sugar Beach. Want more intimacy? Consider heading out to sea for a wedding adventure aboard a private sail or yacht charter. A Virgin Island style wedding is a great romantic way to start your marriage, and, it is an even better place to honeymoon!

As one Custom’s agent recently stated, “Our moon is full of honey, mon.” Throughout the Virgin Islands, with its unhurried lifestyle and friendly people, there are many resorts and villas to make the perfect romantic holiday. Whether you choose a beachside cottage or a luxurious suite, the new couple can enjoy spectacular seascape views while snuggling in a cozy hammock for two. If you need more intimacy and privacy, how about sleeping aboard a sailing vessel or luxury yacht?

The knowledgeable staff at Virgin Island Sailing will be more than happy to arrange your crewed or bareboat sailing vacation or yacht charter.

Besides smooth-sailing island hopping, there are a variety of activities to explore the full range of romantic honeymoon possibilities.

Whether you are new to the sport or an experienced old hand, there are endless places to dive or snorkel in the Virgin Islands, including exciting wrecks, walls and reefs.

Golfing, island style, is a round you will always remember. Tees and greens with breathtaking ocean views and fairways like tropical gardens, make golf in the Virgin Islands a golfer’s paradise. How about horseback riding through the surf or on a lush mountain trail, or even windsurfing in the Sir Frances Drake Channel?

Honeymooners can walk hand in hand on the fabulous beaches, sip rum drinks while watching the most spectacular sunsets, or star gaze into the clear tropical night sky. With the constant gentle breeze, the swaying palms, the soft white sand, and the warm turquoise waves lapping at your feet, the romance of a Virgin Island Wedding and/or honeymoon is truly unforgettable.

Whether you remain land-based or arrange for a yacht or sail charter, you will truly be beginning your lives together in paradise! Contact ViSailing for your yacht charter and let your ideal fairy tale moment come true.

To Have But Not to Hold? Waiting Until the Wedding Night

Once upon a time there was the idea that nice young ladies waited until their wedding nights to be intimate with their husbands. Never mind that plenty of those brides were already “in a family way” by the time they got to the altar, that was what everyone subscribed to publicly. Times have certainly changed, but in recent years there has been a backlash against society’s more casual attitude towards sex, and that has included a renewed interest in making the wedding night special by waiting for it – even among couples who have been living together for years. Read more about the trend of a maintaining a period of abstinence before the wedding night as well as the trend about couples saving everything for their first night as husband and wife.

A few years ago, I read about the “revirginization” trend in the Sunday New York Times. The general concept is that a few weeks or even a few months before their wedding, engaged couples stop having intimate relations so that their wedding night will be like the first time. It’s a bit like closing the barn door after the horse is out, but nonetheless the trend has caught on among some groups. It allows couples, even those who already share a home, to feel more traditional for their weddings.

Weddings, after all, are a time when even the most modern woman tends to feel more sentimental. This is why even as trends come and go in the fashion world, classics like lace and pearl bridal jewelry remain in style for brides year after year. Some brides will even wear the same wedding gown or pearl bridal jewelry as their mothers did, so perhaps it should not be so surprising that they are hoping to make their wedding nights as special as they imagine they were for brides a generation or two ago.

In addition to couples who decide to abstain from intimacy in the weeks leading up to their wedding, there are now couples who genuinely save themselves for marriage, in every possible way. Certainly this is nothing new, but it has been brought into the public eye by shows like “19 Kids and Counting”, which chronicles the lives of the very large and very religious Duggar family, proponents of the ultra-conservative Quiverfull movement. When their eldest son Josh was married last year, one of the central features of the wedding was that he and his bride-to-be Anna saved their first kiss for the end of their wedding ceremony. While not too many passionate young couples are likely to limit their affection to chaste hugs for their entire courtship, anytime an idea is featured on a television show, it gains some currency in the culture at large. The “Virgin Lips” movement, as it is sometimes called, has more adherents than one might think.

In the end, the decision to wait a little, wait a lot, or become a temporary born-again virgin for two weeks to make the honeymoon more thrilling are highly personal decisions which every couple must make for themselves. Brides and grooms-to-be should do their best to follow their hearts rather than trends, whether permissive or restrictive. When a couple can decide together on the best path for their intimate relationship, it will surely help them to start out their marriage on the right foot, whatever they decide.

The Wedding Night & Sensual Lingerie – A Winning Combo!

Nowadays, people tend to get married a little bit older, with a more important and well-controlled budget. On the wedding night, the loss of virginity is no longer the turning point of their first night as a married couple. On this special night where everything, from A to Z, has been planned for months, if not years, women should aim for a unique and memorable set-up. Their mission is to re-enact their first ever love scene together. That is where sensual lingerie comes into play.

May it be to wear under the “very carefully chosen” wedding dress, or simply as the “well waited for” overnight surprise, very feminine, refined but also audacious pieces of lingerie remain the best choices. They must rime with seduction, intimacy, love and passion… and should revive the emotion of their first night.

Getting married becomes the best occasion for a woman to surpass herself and to purchase a “once in a lifetime” piece of lingerie to take her man’s breath away, once again. It is time for her to purchase THE item she has always been dreaming about. She has a wide variety of corsets, bustiers, garters, matching sets to choose from… coming in colors ranging from white, to ivory, pink, sand or powder, and a never ending list of materials. Being a special night where all fantasies come to life, feathers, pearls, rhinestones and fur can also be great additions.

More and more designers now also target this mostly seasonal audience, most sales occurring in January and onwards, while the lingerie is usually worn in the summer time.

Can anyone imagine what would be a wedding night without sensual lingerie? I personally can’t. It would simply be a waste! It is THE night all women have been waiting for. Might as well make the best out of it. 🙂